Dear Ugly Sweater,
I miss you but I do not miss your warmth.
I thought we would have more time together because it has been unexpectedly cold this year but yesterday, it hit 80 degrees. 80 degrees and everyone went wild. Clothes were ripped off, pants traded in for shorts, sweaters replaced by tank tops. It was disgusting.
I don’t get all the warm weather hype. Sweat finds its way into all your crevices, making everything sticky. I think I read once that the heat is scientifically proven to make people more miserable. Now I’m not scientist, but I believe it. This is the first time the temperature has risen over 70 degrees in almost half a year and I already feel irritated.
The worst part of it is that you can never get any relief from the heat. Unless you are comfortable walking outside in the nude, the heat will infiltrate every piece of clothing you are wearing. Don’t even think about wearing black. The heat is relentless and the only sense of relief is air conditioning, which I haven’t even installed yet.
The heat is not like the cold. You were always my relief from the cold.
Remember that time the heater broke on the coldest day of Winter? My roommates left and slept over at a friend’s house. I was the only one in the house all day but I was not alone. You kept me warm in my most desperate hour.
I wish you could cool me down.
I wish we could be together again but my body can not bear it. Right now, even wearing shorts and t-shirt is far too much clothing. Fabric is clinging to every inch of me and I want it gone.
Only 7 more months until Christmas.
Love,
Chris
PS: I was thinking about Christmas sweaters for the summer to help fill the void. What do you think?