Sweater Letters: Vol. 1

Welcome to the sharing of a plethora of love letters we found this past holiday season. They’re real, they’re raw, they’re emotional. Enjoy.



Dear Ugly Sweater,


I miss you so much. It’s been over a month since our last days together. Remember the night we spent by the fire?


You kept me warm and safe amongst the burning trash and boisterous drunkards. Instead of shanking us, they laughed at your zany holiday graphic, their yellow teeth gleaming in the night.


I  could really be myself around you, Ugly sweater, which is more than i can say about Giant Teddy Bear or Box of Chocolates. Is this one filled with toothpaste? Yuck!


Let me rub my face against your acrylic lining! Let me turn you inside out! Oh, Ugly Sweater, I can’t wait any longer! I know, I know…it’s no longer the holiday season. The cheer has drained from my face, for I am now pale and yearning for joy.


Oh, look at me going on and on. How are you? How is the North Pole? Tell the big man I ‘m fine and that I got his card.





P.S. Send nudes



The romance continues! More love letters coming soon! For now check out what Santa’s up to when he’s not on the clock. 

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