Dear Ugly Sweater,
When we stumbled upon you in November, we both scoffed. Your obnoxious pattern stuck out like a sore thumb in an aisle full of thirfted junk. But time was running low and we needed you for various parties.
The first time I wore you was at the office party. Remember that? We were the talk of the party. I still have the “Best Dressed” trophy on top of my dresser; a token of our love.
I know Vanessa is in the other room, writing you as well. We’ve been fighting an awful lot lately. We both want you. She wants you at night when we sit on the couch watching God-Knows-What. I want you at all times.
You see, I am loyal. She wants to use you for warmth; I need you for companionship. Every day we argue over you and it never goes anywhere.
I wish there were two of you but I know that cannot be. There is only one Ugly Sweater. And I want you to be mine, only mine. Forever.
Vannes is coming into our room now. Write soon.
. . . . . . . .
Dear Ugly Sweater,
Alexander and I had another fight. He claimed that I was not loyal to you because I miss your warmth. While your warmth is worth missing, it is not the only thing I miss about you.
I miss the first time we met. Alex tells this story often. We found you in a pile of junk, joked about how ugly you are, but reluctantly picked you up because we were running out of time.
That’s just not true. I knew you were the one from the second your bright green color caught my eye.
I’ve been on your side from the start, despite what Alex says.
I miss the time we spent in town. Crowds of people ogled at you as I help my head high. Now when I try to wear you, Alex tells me it’s embarrassing.
It seems as if he’s embarrassed by you, Ugly Sweater. I’m not, though.
I would proudly wear you anywhere but this sharing thing is difficult. Any chance you have a cute twin?
In the mood for more love letters? Check out Volume 1, in which Kent deals with sweater separation anxiety.