You must know some weirdos. You might be a weirdo yourself. Either way, Amazon seems to be the way to buy gifts this holiday season. It’s a fantastic digital world offering up an endless variety of strange. Absurd Amazon gifts are definitely the trend, and we don’t hate it. Make some Star Wars toast or go arm-deep in a 55-gallon drum of lube. If that doesn’t scream holiday cheer, what will?
Darth Vader Toaster $42.99
I presumed that there were tons of Star Wars accessories out there, but I wasn’t ready for the incredible variety of Star Wars toasters available! Hit Amazon and make Yoda toast, Stormtrooper toast, Millennium Falcon toast…the list goes on.
Fundies $9.65
Not sure how practical or “fun” these actually are, but if you’re into bumpin’ uglies, why not?
Beardo Kids Detachable Beard Hat $32.99
“He’s growing up so fast,” his parents say from across the room. “He’s almost ready for the lumberyard.”
The Beard Smock $12.99
Have the freedom to shave wherever you want! The beard smock may make you look like an oversized baby (especially with your shirt off), but when you’re done, you’re gonna like the way you look…
Cooking with Coolio Cookbook $9.18
With a deep passion for cooking, Coolio has created “The Ghetto Gourmet,” deeming himself the “King of the Kitchen Pimps.” I would have loved to be the editor on this thing.
Some chapter titles: Pimpin’ the Poultry, It’s Hard Out Here For a Shrimp, Vegetarians? Okay, Whatever!, Sweet Treats For That Sweet Ass, and Pimpclusion.
The Farting Animals Coloring Book $3.86
Animals. Flatulence. Coloring. What more do you need?
The Garden Statue of Bigfoot $128.56
Are you sick of the gnome fad? Hop on the Yeti bandwagon. This 2.5 ft Bigfoot statue will make an impactful addition to your home. But you need to act now. There are only 4 left in stock!
The Sushi Bazooka Roller $16.99
Super Soakers meets an ancient Japanese tradition. Load this bad boy up with rice, raw fish, and vegetables and shoot it out the other end. How appetizing.
Selfie Mic Music Set! $9.79
For those who really want to make a statement on their morning commute. Hold out a hat and you may collect some loose change!
A 55-Gallon Drum of Lube $1468.80
Imagine anyone not in the porn industry buying one these. I can hear them asking, “Wait, where’s the lady?”
Custom Nicholas Cage Pillowcase $8.29
I guess Nick Cage is still a thing, so this pillow must still be relevant. Imagine resting your cheek against this image night after night. Yeah.
